My favorite line from Shakespeare’s “Much ado about nothing” is this… Benedick says to his companions….
“Gallants!…. I am not as I have been”
Benedick, the lifelong bachelor, a man who railed constantly against love and marriage, finds himself in love and wanting to marry.
It’s all about change. It’s hard for us to grasp sometimes. We want things to stay the same but… they don’t.
The earth moves thru space @ 18.5 miles per second…. It’s all moving.Everything, everywhere all around us! You are not the guy you were 5 years, 5 months, 5 weeks or 5 minutes ago. Yes we are changing.
However, Society i.e. friends, family, co-workers, social circles, church groups etc.. they can have a chilling effect on change. Sister Thomas, who has known you since you were 8 yrs old wants you (or you think she wants you) to be the same good guy you’ve always been. Unfortunately… that doesn’t always happen. What I thought, felt, believed before I may not feel, think, believe anymore…
So what do you do?
Allow yourself to change… in my case this was a bigger change.
I was a part of a larger community and had taken on certain roles and responsibilities. So when change starts to happen. I felt those responsibilities keenly. I didn’t want to let anyone down…. So I resisted change…. For years…. Until change happened……
For me it’s not just change…. It’s Re-invention.
Webster’s defines reinvention as: to make as if for the first time something already invented or : to remake or redo completely
That’s what I’m doing. Not just change… a Re-imagining. What is the life I WANT TO LIVE? Now I’m embracing that life with all of the possibilities it contains. It’s a lot of work.
It is sometimes a bit scary. It’s like I’ve set sail for a place I’ve never been before. It starts out exciting…
But after a while…. When the shore you’ve left behind slips below the horizon…. There’s nothing but Empty Ocean all around…..
What really sets in, is how alone you are.
There’s no one to take this journey with you, but you. That lonely feeling can be really, really hard to bear… so what do I do?
I keep reminding myself of the words of J.M. Barrie….
“Second star to the right… and straight on til morning”
Believe that you will get where you’re going… If you keep your belief in yourself!